“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
These simple words originate from the profound Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono (HO-oh-PO-no-PO-no), Prayer for Forgiveness, a genuine pathway to self-healing, cultivating heart wisdom, and reconciliation.
Ho’oponopono is a transformative prayer practice that empowers you to restore balance and regain the wisdom to set things right in your life.
Our emotions color how we see and experience the world. An angry mind sees an angry world. A fearful mind sees a threatening world. However, when the mind is stable, we perceive a world that is open, fluid, workable, and adaptable.
In this blog, I will share how I created the vibrant Hawai’ian Refuge Ritual Essence and how it can help us evoke forgiveness to overcome conflict and negative emotional barriers. I delve into the destructive nature of anger and resentment, uncovering how these emotions can poison our lives and relationships.
I will focus on the powerful and transformative practice of forgiveness, using the profound Ho’oponopono prayer as a guiding tool. Additionally, by using the Refuge Ritual Essence, this powerful essence catalyzes transformation, helping you to ignite a spirit of forgiveness. As you embrace this journey of healing, you’ll radiate positivity and light, inspiring and uplifting those around you.
Join me in igniting your heart and allowing it to shine brightly for the benefit of everyone around you. Harness your renewed energy as a powerful beacon of hope and encouragement for others, illuminating their lives with positivity and inspiration!
Pu’uhonua o Hōnaunau & The Creation of Refuge Ritual Essence
I created the Refuge Ritual Essence during a beautiful meditation session on a serene and beautiful afternoon at Pu’uhonua, one of the most sacred sites on the Big Island of Hawai’i.
The ancient Hawai’ian “place of refuge” featured a royal enclosure, a burial site for chiefs, and a sanctuary for those who had violated the kapu laws.
A person’s only chance for survival after violating the kapu was to evade their pursuers, reach a Puʻuhonua, and seek refuge and mercy from the King. It was at the Puʻuhonua that anyone who broke the kapu could find forgiveness.
The energy at Pu’uhonua has tremendous spiritual power (mana). My heart guided me to a quiet spot away from other tourists inside the southern enclosure near the ancient fish ponds.
I set my crystal bowl and filled it with naturally pure spring water obtained from Kilauea. With reverence, I asked the spirits of the land and my guides to bless my intention to capture Pu’uhonua’s sacred energy and transfer it to the spring water.
Opening of the Heart
I felt my heart open while meditating in the golden afternoon light with a gentle breeze from the ocean at my back. As I breathed, I heard the words “I forgive you. I love you” echoing in my mind.
Time and again, the words transformed into a powerful chant, reverberating within me like waves crashing against the shore of my heart. Each syllable seemed to ignite a deep connection, stirring emotions I had kept hidden for too long. As I stood there, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, I felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks, tracing paths of both sorrow and liberation. The rhythm of the chant enveloped me, pulling me into a place of profound reflection and release.
After some time, when I opened my eyes, everything glittered with light! Filled with gratitude, I sincerely thanked the spirits of Pu’uhonua and my guides for their invaluable guidance and the profound healing gift they’ve bestowed upon me.
After bottling the mother tincture, I enhanced the essence through countless hours of the transformative Ho’oponopono chant, infusing it with the powerful healing energy of aloha — love.
Hawai’ian Healing Practices
The rich tradition of Hawaiian healing practices has faced significant decline due to the overwhelming influence of Western culture on Hawaiian life. However, there is a renewed interest in traditional Hawaiian healing practices today.
Huna Hawai’ian healing practices address the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects of our physical body, all interconnected parts of our being. Healing emphasizes the significance of balancing three elements of the self to foster inner wellness, which can ultimately contribute to healing the world.
Lokahi (balance)
Central to Native Hawai’ian understanding of health is the holistic concept of lokahi (unity, harmony, and agreement), often referred to as the “Lokahi Triangle.”
These three “points of the triangle” include the physical body and the environment surrounding that person, relationships with others, particularly family members, ancestors, and god(s), and mental and emotional states. When these elements align harmoniously, they create an empowering balance that unlocks the door to a profoundly fulfilling and enriched life.
Lokahi emphasizes the interconnectedness of individuals and the importance of working together harmoniously. Additionally, individuals must take responsibility for their healing by making amends for any past wrongs they may have caused. This journey can ultimately lead to profound transformation and forgiveness in one’s life for the better, and the building of something positive together.
Conflict Within and Without
I have a cause at this time in my life to reclaim emotional balance. Like many in our community, I find the US election results deeply unsettling, and I am concerned about the profound consequences unfolding in our society.
As I sit with my feelings and struggle with my emotions, I cannot remember a time when I felt more acutely aware of the structure and institutions that have held our country together.
I’ve been grappling with intense anger towards individuals who hold beliefs that I consider lacking in human compassion and understanding. It’s disheartening to encounter perspectives that dismiss our shared humanity.
And so I name these difficult emotions. I have fluctuated between shock, anger, sadness, disgust, and grief over the past few weeks.
Anger, Grief & Mourning
I acknowledge that grief lies beneath my feelings of anger and resentment. I grieve for past and future generations, including remarkable individuals who worked hard and contributed to our country’s evolution. And how marginalizing exceptional individuals compromises kindness and inclusivity, ultimately shaping a future that benefits everyone.
I mourn for our daughters and granddaughters, who have fewer rights as women today than I did. The ability of women to make their own decisions about their bodies, lives, who they choose to love, and futures without violence or coercion is a fundamental human right that’s central to women’s equality, privacy, and bodily integrity.
I feel sorrow for our sons, who may be affected by misogynistic hate rhetoric that marginalizes individuals who are not white or male. I resent this mindset.
The Impact of Patriarchy Fuels Anger and Resentment
I can’t help but notice how the tendrils of patriarchy grant men power and privilege over women in politics, economics, and culture, rooted in the belief in male superiority. It uses both blatant and subtle forms of oppression and control, such as violence and discriminatory laws, to sustain a grip on power.
Patriarchy and inclusivity represent opposing forces. Patriarchy often fosters anger and resentment because of its inherent power imbalances and discriminatory practices. This system can generate both individual and collective anger arising from experiences of marginalization, oppression, and the denial of fundamental rights.
However, here’s the thing – what makes anger and resentment uniquely complex to work with is that they can feel quite good. That’s what makes them challenging to navigate and process.
Because when we’ve been wronged, that righteous indignation feels empowering. This is where the complexity truly comes in. While anger can be a vital signal, clinging to resentment hinders the processing of the underlying emotions and prevents us from moving forward.
However, I recognize that blaming others and holding onto grudges and grievances serves no one. Nothing good comes from nourishing anger and resentment. Whether it’s resentment towards yourself or others, you can’t fill your heart with self-love when poisoned by negativity.
The Impact of Conflict on Relationships
How we think our loved ones view us profoundly impacts the strength of our relationships. A positive perception fosters deeper connections, while negative beliefs can create barriers to these connections. Ultimately, how we navigate conflict plays a crucial role in the health and longevity of our relationships.
Conflicts and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, and acknowledging this truth can lead to stronger connections and deeper understanding. Conflict has a profound influence on relationships, shaping the dynamics between individuals in powerful ways. While it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional disconnection, it also has the potential to foster growth and cultivate a more profound understanding between partners.
Essentially, conflicts arise from how individuals interact with each other rather than being focused on a specific issue or task. This type of disagreement occurs within the dynamics of a relationship, often involving personal emotions, unmet expectations, or incompatible needs, which can negatively affect the quality of the connection between them.
When unresolved, relational conflict can damage trust, intimacy, and the overall quality of a relationship. The inability or unwillingness to forgive someone who has betrayed, upset, or broken your trust can lead to bitterness, resentment, and a range of adverse effects on your mental and physical health.
Toxic Unforgiveness
If you are struggling with unforgiveness, you might experience sudden bursts of anger, act pettily and impulsively, feel the need to make the other person understand your pain, engage in compulsive behaviors, have difficulty reframing your experiences, and tend to blame others for your feelings.
I encourage you to view conflict as an opportunity for dialogue and resolution. By promoting effective communication and showing a genuine willingness to address differences, couples can turn challenges into stepping stones for a stronger and more resilient relationship. Embracing the practice of forgiveness has the power to profoundly transform your life in ways you may never have imagined.
Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation
It’s important to distinguish between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is a personal journey that helps individuals find inner peace and release the negativity associated with past grievances. By embracing this process, individuals can experience emotional healing, a renewed sense of connection with others, and a more balanced life.
In contrast, reconciliation is the process of restoring a relationship to its previous state, which may or may not occur after an act of forgiveness has taken place. This complex process involves open communication, trust-building, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives.
Additionally, it requires mutual effort and a shared commitment from both parties to address the underlying issues that led to the conflict. Without this cooperation, reconciliation may be challenging, and the relationship may remain strained despite the existence of forgiveness.
The path to meditative awareness that encourages forgiveness is accessible to us at this very moment. Engaging in the practice of forgiveness is not merely an abstract concept; it is a profound and transformative experience that can profoundly alter our internal narratives.
By intentionally choosing to forgive, we can shift our mindset from one of resentment and pain to one of understanding and compassion. This shift promotes emotional healing, enabling us to release past grievances and cultivate a more profound sense of peace within ourselves. Over time, this practice can enhance our overall well-being, contributing to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.
The Heart of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a profound healing process that can change your life by unlocking the emotional wisdom of the heart.
At the heart of forgiveness is empathy. What if we made a simple daily choice to share heartfelt emotions and validate others’ feelings? Imagine the ripple effect it could create that might enhance our well-being, strengthen our communities, and deepen our bonds.
Although our minds may struggle with the concept of forgiveness, our hearts offer energetic support and holistic healing as we sincerely commit to letting go of the past, even if it happens in small steps.
When we truly listen to what our hearts are telling us, our spirit guides us to forgive and release energy blocks both within ourselves and in our relationships with others. Our hearts recognize that by forgiving, we gain something of great value.
Forgiveness, which originates from the heart, enables heart transformation, regardless of the circumstances. It fosters love and encourages understanding, nurturing patience in our relationships. This deeper connection allows us to resolve conflicts with compassion.
Recognizing that embracing forgiveness enriches our shared humanity empowers us to let go of grievances and heal. By consciously cultivating positive intentions, forgiveness transforms from a distant ideal into a tangible reality. This act is not merely about releasing the past; it is a powerful commitment to fostering compassion and empathy in our relationships. In doing so, we create a ripple effect of kindness that strengthens our connections and nurtures a more caring and supportive community.
Forgiveness and Empathy
Empathy is essential in the forgiveness process, as it involves understanding another person’s perspective. Clear and honest communication is vital for couples, as it fosters forgiveness and enables both partners to express their feelings, ultimately leading to mutual understanding.
Although we are all at different stages in our journey of healing and forgiveness, we often struggle with the concept of forgiveness, both for ourselves and others.
The difficulty may stem from the principle of justice—”an eye for an eye”—being central to many religious beliefs and legal systems. This principle asserts that individuals must face consequences that align with the seriousness of their actions, ensuring a fair and just system of accountability matching the severity of their offenses.
Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or ceasing to be angry; it is also about letting go of the past. Instead, it involves voluntarily transforming your feelings, attitudes, and behavior to free yourself from resentment and show compassion toward yourself and, eventually, toward the person who wronged you.
This process is particularly significant for individuals grappling with feelings of shame and entrenched negative habits. By embracing empathy, we can learn to forgive, allowing us to release the burdens of resentment and pain, which pave the way for deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.
La’au Kahea (Healing Prayer)
Central to Hawai’ian healing practice is prayer. As in other spiritual practices, the Hawai’ian belief is that we co-create our experiences. Prayer is a way to connect with your soul and strengthen the bond between yourself, others, and the earth.
The Ho’oponopono prayer is a conflict resolution practice that offers positive solutions to human problems. It encourages us to take responsibility for our lives and actions. Rather than asking for a supernatural force to eliminate our pain and suffering, this practice enables us to own our thoughts and emotions while accepting life events beyond our control.
Reciting the Ho’oponopono prayer from the heart creates a path to inner peace and nurtures a profound sense of self-love, helping you to
- Restore balance and harmony within yourself.
- Resolve conflicts in your relationships.
- Nurture your connections with yourself, others, and the environment.
- Identify core issues and emotional triggers.
- Recognize and understand your emotions and subsequent reactions.
- Reduce stress, anxiety, and habits.
- Overcome Trauma.
- Cultivate resilience.
- Heal transgressions and betrayals.
Ho’oponopono – The Forgiveness Prayer
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
This beautiful prayer originated in the village and clan communities of ancient Polynesian culture. Ho’oponopono is an ancestral Hawai’ian healing practice that helps cleanse your consciousness of negative memories, unconscious fears, and disempowering beliefs. It encourages forgiveness, peace, and love toward yourself and others.
The Ho’oponopono prayer has deep historical roots as a powerful tool for reconciliation, bringing divided families (Ohana) back together. Embracing this practice can lead to healing and unity among loved ones.
In these communities, no one was considered an isolated individual. Every person was an integral part of a connected community and shared ancestry. Everyone represented their clan, family, lineage, or village in some way. Together, they formed a vital network that thrived on collaboration and support.
Kapu, or sacred laws, were strictly enforced. Of utmost importance to Hawai’ian culture, breaking kapu had severe consequences, including death.
When one person committed a crime, the entire family, clan, and village felt a sense of responsibility for that behavior. Criminal actions were viewed as collective issues that affected the whole community. As a result, when wrongdoing occurred, the entire family and village would come together to take responsibility, seek justice, and promote healing.
Any fugitive who had broken kapu could seek refuge and forgiveness within the walls of the Puʻuhonua. The journey was not easy; many lost their lives to sharks swimming offshore or the sharp rocks that lined the shoreline.
If they completed the challenging journey to seek refuge at Pu’uohana, the Huna priests would conduct a ceremony of absolution and encourage the chanting of the Ho’oponopono prayer. This forgiveness ceremony permitted those who had broken the kapu to reintegrate into society.
Forgiveness is Compassion in Action
The Ho’oponopono practice remains a valuable method for mediation and conflict resolution today. It helps individuals and couples address feelings of hurt and resentment towards others. Additionally, it serves as a powerful tool for enhancing healing and stabilizing emotions.
Intense experiences are an unavoidable part of being human. What we can change is how we trap ourselves in habitual interpretations and feelings about those experiences.
Our inner beliefs have a profound influence on our outer reality. Our words hold considerable power; they can affect our brains, bodies, and relationships. Words repeated internally carry energy and move our thoughts. They can help, hinder, inspire, or hurt. They can create bonds, foster alienation, enlighten or humiliate.
Recognizing and understanding your feelings while actively noticing your mental and emotional patterns deepens your compassion and understanding for others in similar situations. As you practice understanding your mind each day, you create space for empathy and kindness towards others.
While embracing forgiveness can be challenging, It is an active, transformative process that profoundly serves as a healing balm, mending past wounds and promoting a renewed sense of harmony.
Here’s How to Practice Ho’oponopono
Engaging in Ho’oponopono means taking a decisive step toward healing by offering a heartfelt apology to yourself for the transgressions you’ve created in your life. This transformative practice invites you to acknowledge your role in these experiences and fosters a deeper connection with your inner self.
Consistently repeating the Ho’oponopono prayer is a powerful way to cleanse the mind and spirit of guilt, shame, troubling memories, hostile intentions, or harmful feelings that trap the mind in negative thinking.
I personally enjoy listening to Craig Pruess’s beautiful and heart-centered rendition of the Ho’oponopono Prayer. I invite you to listen to it on my Refuge Ritual Essence product page or follow this SoundCloud link.
To practice Ho’oponopono, take a few deep breaths with closed eyes and center yourself in your heart.
- Close your eyes and turn your attention inward to the heart.
- Begin by reciting the Ho’oponopono prayer out loud or silently to yourself.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
- Let the words penetrate your heart to resonate deeply within you.
- Repeat the prayer until you feel a sense of ease and calmness.
- Finally, take a moment to conclude the practice in silence, resting your hands gently on your heart. This simple gesture will help the prayer’s profound meaning resonate within you.
Commit to a daily practice for at least two weeks. Engage in this regularly until you notice your grievances lift and your heart soften. This will create space within you to cultivate self-love and reclaim joy.
Taking Refuge in Ho’oponopono
“We must open our hearts; then, we welcome forgiveness with love.”
I recognize the complex process of forgiveness is not an easy one. Fleur Refuge Hawai’ian Ritual Essence is a vibrational gift to those navigating this journey in their personal lives.
Infused with the energetic Hawai’ian spirit of Pu’uhonua, Refuge Hawai’ian Ritual Essence embodies a profound spiritual energy of refuge, safety, charity, forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation, ultimately restoring self-love and balance.
Use Refuge Ritual Essence to accept and forgive yourself (and others) for any mistakes or transgressions, allowing you to start fresh and set things right.
Unlock the full potential of Refuge Ritual Essence by pairing it with the powerful recitation of the Ho’oponopono prayer; together, their effects are truly transformative.
Integrate Refuge Ritual Essence with Ho’oponopono
Owning our negative emotions and experiences is the first step toward healing, allowing us to release our hurts and move forward with renewed heart presence.
I invite you to integrate Ho’oponopono practice with Refuge Ritual Essence to enhance your emotional wellness and experience profound positive benefits.
- Reduced anxiety and depression
- Better navigation of emotions
- Increased self-esteem
- Healthier relationships
- Reduce feelings of resentment, regret, and remorse.
- Fewer physical health symptoms
- Lower mortality rates
- Improved heart health
- Stronger immune system
- Enhanced sleep quality
- Reduced fatigue and stress
- Greater empathy and compassion
- Broader perspectives that promote mutual understanding
- Encouragement of open communication while avoiding blame
- Heightened self-awareness of personal triggers and reactions to navigate challenging situations and interactions.
My Personal Experience with Taking Refuge in Ho’oponopono
I realized that it was my responsibility to take action. I recognized that I could find solace in the Hawai’ian healing practice of Ho’oponopono to resolve my internal conflicts and reconnect with my true self. It was truly unbearable to be caught in a cycle of negative feelings and thoughts. I knew I needed to discover a way to break free.
I committed to transforming my internal state by addressing my grievances and cultivating a spirit of forgiveness. In the past few weeks, I have adopted a morning ritual that includes reciting the Ho’oponopono prayer for at least 10 minutes. I also add Refuge Ritual Essence to my water, apply a drop or two to the crown of my head, and anoint my heart.
Although there are moments throughout my week when negative emotions break through like waves, I have noticed a profound easing in my heart. My thoughts are becoming more compassionate and understanding. I feel more at peace with accepting “what is,” taking ownership, and letting go of the burden of anger and bitterness.
As a result, I am cultivating a spirit of generosity that genuinely uplifts my soul and enhances my connections with others. I attribute these shifts to my practice of forgiveness through chanting Ho’oponopono and using Refuge Ritual Essence.
My commitment to personal growth and living my values has softened my anger and resentment, resulting in a profound and lasting transformation from the inside out.
I deeply cherish and honor the invaluable gift of Pu’uhoanua. Refuge Ritual Essence emanates a powerful wave of love that profoundly nurtures forgiveness in every facet of our being, transforming our hearts and minds.
Healing Others by Healing Yourself
Practitioners of Ho’oponopono believe that healing must begin within ourselves. The practice is based on the belief that everyone is interconnected and that problems are a repetition of negative emotional memories.
The emotional burden of lingering resentment and remorse can fester over time, impacting our lives for years. The unwillingness or inability to forgive someone who has betrayed, upset, or broken your trust can lead to feelings of bitterness and anger that can fester for years.
For those who have experienced prolonged trauma, our brains may need to be physiologically rewired for complete healing, and forgiveness can accelerate that process.
Choosing to forgive means intentionally shifting our perspective, feelings, and attitudes without necessarily condoning the wrongdoing. Ultimately, forgiveness empowers us to change how we react to personal slights, enabling us to become better individuals.
Incorporating Ho’oponopono into your life can lead to greater emotional freedom and healthier, more fulfilling connections with others, even those who may be different from us, regardless of whether they “deserve” it.
Connection is Not a Solitary Practice
Embarking on this journey can lead to a deep and transformative experience, paving the way for healing and forgiveness. It opens the door to personal growth and the opportunity to cultivate something beautiful and positive together. Ho’oponono practice thrives on collaboration and connection; it is not only a solitary endeavor.
If both individuals are open to it, using Refuge Ritual Essence while reciting the Ho’oponopono prayer together can help dissolve regrets, resentments, anger, and remorse, allowing your hearts to return to a state of unity and harmony.
Embracing the practice of Ho’oponopono empowers us to direct our energy toward self-healing, reprogramming brain pathways, reshaping our thoughts, and unlocking our inner vitality.
Empowering Yourself Empowers Others
In summary, one of the most essential things you can learn is training your ability to catch your thoughts, much like catching an ember before it ignites into flames. The self-perpetuating cycle of thought and emotion can be challenging to break out of without empathy and compassion.
Being aware of your emotional triggers before they escalate empowers you to manage your emotions while they are still manageable. This awareness helps prevent you from retreating or expressing your feelings in an inappropriate manner. The instinct to hold back and the challenge of extending forgiveness are part of a broader spiritual struggle.
Understanding and acknowledging these feelings is crucial for healing, just as recognizing the profound kindness and compassion inherent in the human heart can inspire actual change.
I encourage you to take refuge in the Ho’oponopono prayer to restore balance and make things right. Integrating Refuge Ritual Essence into your forgiveness practice will significantly elevate your healing journey, providing a powerful boost to your energetic transformation.
Fostering a spirit of forgiveness is an essential step on the path to personal healing, strengthening relationships, and ultimately achieving harmony, or lokahi. Embarking on this transformative journey profoundly reshapes your entire being, creating abundant space for love to flourish and enrich your life.
Refuge Ritual Essence is a compassionate healing gift that nurtures your spirit and gently encourages positive change not just within you, but also in those around you.
All my aromatic love,
Vidya